Ersatz
by im36degrees
Summary: This is based off a plotline that was allegedly going to appear had the series not been canceled. Both Dib and Zim have their lives changed through shocking discoveries. Going to be ZADR eventually. This description sounds terrible, read it anyway!
1. Chapter 1

Reviews are welcomed and helpful!! Thanks to my beta GreatHeroRosalyn!

Dib rushed into the dingy living room of his house, tossing his book bag onto the floor. He had just returned from a really good Zim-stalking expedition. He was convinced he had enough photographic evidence to finally reveal Zim to the world.

"Gaz! Guess what?" the boy squealed. "I was going through Zim's garbage and I found half a squid! Do you know what this means??"

Gaz glanced up from her Game Slave and muttered, "Get _out_ freakazoid; I'm almost done with this level!"

Dib scowled and absently kicked the wall. It wasn't that he actually expected anything different, but he always hoped they'd remember his birthday on their own.

"Geez, Gaz, it's my sixteenth birthday. I thought that meant I can do whatever I want."

"What you _want_ is to get out of this room before I rip your stupid tongue out of your big stupid head!" Gaz growled, her eyes flashing threateningly. When Dib continued to affect her with his presence, she screeched, "_Security_!"

Dib raised his hands in surrender as several seemingly inanimate stuffed animals rose to life, complete with weaponry. He slowly backed out of the room, not wanting another painful encounter with those diabolical toys.

_Gaz wouldn't care if I grew a second head, let alone turn sixteen_.

He passed the kitchen, where his father was partially hidden behind an enormous stack of files. Dib stopped, hoping for a 'Happy Birthday', at least. He stood there, watching his father shuffle through some data charts for several minutes. Finally, Professor Membrane glanced at his son, only to frown, and return even more urgently to his work. Dib sighed.

"I'm going to my room to do some Zim work. Don't bother me, okay?"

No response except for the shuffling of papers.

Dib shrugged it off, grabbed a box of pizza that was apparently dinner, and headed to his room, grabbing his book bag on the way. At least he had some promising photos to look at. His family might not pay attention to him now, but when he revealed Zim for the filthy alien he really was, then they'd _really_ pay attention to him.

A few minutes later, Dib threw down the stack of newly printed photos in disgust. The pictures were less relevant than he remembered. There was one picture of Zim's left foot, one of a garden gnome, and one of GIR kissing a fire hydrant. The rest hadn't even been worth printing. _Some birthday_, Dib thought bitterly. He pulled a laser he was working on out of his desk drawer and quickly ducked as it began firing randomly.

"Stupid" _duck_ "fucking" _duck_ "self-defense laser!" he muttered. "You're supposed to defend _me_, not yourself!" The laser, apparently not agreeing to this idea of self-defense, promptly grew legs and climbed up the wall.

Several hours (and some scorched furniture) later, Dib finally managed to make the weapon stop shooting at random intervals. He glanced at the clock and found it to be well past midnight. Dib took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily. He dropped the laser onto his desk (from where it crawled up a bookcase and onto the ceiling) and turned towards his bed. He jumped back in shock when he found himself face to face with his father.

"Holy shit!" Dib yelped, leaping back several feet. "Dad, you scared the crap out of me!" Dib sat down at his desk, but before he could ask why his father was there, Professor Membrane abruptly grabbed his neck and pressed a damp, sweet-smelling cloth to Dib's mouth and nose.

Dib gagged as the chloroform filled his lungs. He desperately tried to push the larger man away, his limbs feeling heavy and disconnected. Professor Membrane, his face emotionless, tightened his grip on the boy's neck, waiting as Dib's struggles got weaker and weaker and finally ceased. When Dib finally collapsed onto the floor, Membrane smoothly tucked the cloth into a pocket.

"We need to talk," he stated before gesturing to his until-then-unseen accomplice to pick up his son's limp body.

Dib groaned as consciousness rushed back with painful clarity. He sat up quickly, looking around. He was in his father's laboratory, surrounded by gleaming contraptions, bubbling vials, and scientific instruments. A hand grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down. It was then Dib noticed that his father was in the process of tying him down to a large examination table.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON, DAD?" Dib yelled. He noticed a syringe full of blood on a tray near him. "Did-did you take my blood?? What the hell?"

He struggled against his father's efforts until at last his father relinquished and Dib could sit up. He winced at the pain in his head. He felt like a porcupine had been placed inside his skull which, knowing his father, was a possibility. His father, apart from allowing him to sit up, completely ignored him. He instead began sorting through a variety of rather sharp looking instruments and placing them on trays.

"The root of the error will be found," Professor Membrane muttered to himself. "The next attempt will be far superior thanks to the failure. Dissection-"

"DISSECTION?!" Dib bellowed. "Dad, are you fucking crazy? I'm your son, remember?"

"You are _not_ my son," Professor Membrane said sharply, turning to face Dib.

"Dad, if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on, I- I'm going to curse you with the Shadow Hog!" Dib said shakily. _This_ is what he hated about "real science". It was vague and cryptic and gave him the chills.

"Don't call me that!" Professor Membrane yelled, his fingers twitching.

As Dib stared at him, terrified, Professor Membrane laughed humorlessly. "You know, it's so interesting how this whole experiment turned out. It is amusing despite its failure. You see, Dib, about seventeen years ago, two things came to my mind: my greatness and my mortality. It was truly terrible to think that I, Professor Membrane, studier of REAL SCIENCE would one day die. For the good of SCIENCE I resolved to never let that happen. So I resolved to create someone who could continue my great works of SCIENCE when I died. It took many many tries, four hundred and ninety-two to be exact, but I finally did it."

Dib shook his head, unable to _comprehend_ what his father was telling him.

"Dad- Dad, I want to go home-"

Professor Membrane continued his monologue.

"Specimen 492 was my one successful specimen, the one I was able to grow, or so I thought. You see, it appears something went wrong. There is an error, an irreversible error. It is essentially a failed experiment."

Dib couldn't move. Every muscle in his body was frozen, locked in place. He was too smart to not realize what his father was saying. For a few seconds, nothing. Then a small grin twitched Dib's mouth. A giggle escaped, high pitched and hysterical. Then Dib threw back his head and laughed a shrill, panicked sound.

"That's great, Dad! So what if one of your experiments failed? Can we go home now?"

Professor Membrane stood up, and, in a steely voice, he said, "You and I are created from the same genetic material. You were intended to be another me. You are my clone, not a normal human being; you are a failed scientific experiment. There are problems in your being: the insanity, the disregard for REAL SCIENCE, innumerable personality flaws. As you are only an imperfect clone, it is my scientific duty to terminate you."

As he said this, the scientist squeezed out a few drops of blood from the syringe onto a computer pad then deftly cut his own finger and pressed it into an adjacent pad. Instantly, the computer program began analyzing the two samples. Similarity after similarity appeared on the screen. After a few numb seconds, a flat computerized voice rang out into the lab, "_Analysis complete. Result- full DNA match."_

Dib's insane giggles caught in his throat, denial not a viable option. _This isn't possible. It's a bad sci-fi movie. I'm not-_ He tried to quell the growing panic in his head. A strangely calm part of his mind could only think of one question, one he desperately had to know on a subconscious level.

"Did- did Mom know about- me? Did she know I- I wasn't-" the words caught in Dib's throat. _Lies, all lies_. Everything he thought about who he was- lies.

"She is _not _your mother," Membrane growled, his fingers again twitching. "And the answer is no. She thought it was a natural pregnancy. She never suspected a thing."

Dib's eyes widened in shock. "You- you used her like a- a fucking incubator? You sick bastard!"

Professor Membrane frowned, his voice becoming icy and robotic, "Specimen 492, you are a corrupted exercise. As such you will be eliminated for public safety through injection of-"

Dib screamed, "I wish she found out everything, knew that she married a MONSTER!"

On the word _monster_, Dib's hand shot out, grabbing a bubbling flask. His brain shut down into survival mode, he didn't register the searing heat as he threw it directly at Membrane's head. As the scientist ducked, Dib turned and fled to the door, knocking over the Bunsen burner as he went. The flames instantly caught on a pile of files and began spreading. Dib knew he could count on his father being more worried about saving his precious science than anything else. He fled through the double doors, down a gleaming white hallway, through another set of double doors, and another, and finally escaped the hateful building, fleeing into the night.

A/N: Yay for angst! I really regret not being able to see this plotline in the series. It would have been very interesting to see. I'm surprised that I haven't found any fics about it yet. So yeah, Zim will be in the next chapter. Don't worry; he'll get some angst too. Also, I'm quite proud of myself for the number 492. It's the numerical correspondence for each letter in Dib's name. D4 I9 B2.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much to my beta GreatHeroRosalyn!

Zim frowned in concentration, slowly lowering the laser towards the student bolted to the top of his desk. Behind him, the rest of the class huddled against the wall, terrified. There was a rustle and a sudden flash of black near Zim's desk.

"Zim!" Ms. Bitters hissed. "I will not have live disembowelments in class. The school has to pay for the trauma therapy. Either wait until lunch or _suffer._ "

Zim frowned and shoved the small child into his desk. Ms. Bitters swooshed back to her desk, ignoring the petrified children against the wall.

"Children, today we are talking about the meaning of life. There is none. Life is pointless…."

The students slowly inched from the wall and retook their seats. After several minutes of Ms. Bitters' lesson, there was no movement except for the occasional eye twitch or drip of drool. Zim played idly with his laser, carving the Irken symbol into his desk. After having Bitters for six painful years (something relating to the skool budget), skool had become less about information retrieval. Now it was really just a way to keep tabs on Dib.

Zim glanced over Dib's empty seat. _Where is the filthy meat boy?_ Zim thought. The earth child had been missing for a few days now. _What is he planning?_

"The gophers! He knows about the gophers!!!" Zim yelled, leaping onto his desk. Every head in the class slowly turned to face him. He stared back blankly.

"Life has no purpose- go home now!" Ms. Bitters barked. The mass of teenagers ran out of the classroom shrieking and yelling. Zim noted with some irritation that, even standing on his desk, he was just barely as tall as his fellow students.

That was a point of contention for Zim. Surely someone as magnificent as Zim should have grown at least a little in the past six years. He shrugged and hopped off the desk. He considered bringing the child in his desk home to work on but decided to wait until the following week. His mission now was to find Dib before he found out about the gophers…

"Oh yes, Dib," Zim cackled. "You think you understand my gophers, but YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH!!"

With a maniacal laugh, the Irken ran out of the room.

"Help meee..." whispered the tiny child in his desk.

Zim returned to his base. He ignored GIR, who was in the middle of watching _that horrible show_, and stepped into the trashcan. When he reached the main computer, he commanded,

"Computer! Activate tracking chip on human meat boy!"

The computer sighed, "Which one?"

"What do you mean?" Zim yelled, waving his arms in anger. "There's only one _filthy human_ with a tracking chip!"

"Weeell," the computer moaned, "You remember when you decided to track pigeons in order to control the moon? There's a couple thousand birds with tracking chips in them."

"Oh yes," Zim murmured nostalgically. He'd forgotten about that one. That _had_ been a most ingenious plan.

"Computer, activate oldest tracking device still in service!" Zim snapped.

The computer complied. A map of the city appeared with a small blinking dot appearing in the middle of it. Zim noted the location before climbing back into the elevator. When he reached the surface, he noted to his displeasure that it had begun to rain. Zim debated putting off searching for Dib but then thought about the gopher-related consequences. He growled and marched to the closet, pulling out a _disgusting huuuman invention_. Stupid and human as it was, this rain-repelling shield was the only practical way Zim could get out in the rain.

Zim poked the button to open the umbrella. Nothing happened. Infuriated, he whacked it against the wall. It popped open and knocked him onto the floor.

It was a severely pissed Zim that exited the house a few minutes later. Under the protection of the umbrella, he headed towards the location of the tracking chip.

Zim sneered in disgust. This section of the city was disgusting. He pulled out a small screen and checked the source of the chip. He was very close, a few blocks away. Zim was slightly confused. _The gophers aren't located here. What is the worm-baby up to?_ Just then, Zim saw Dib emerge from a dingy shop a few blocks away. The boy pulled up his sleeve as though inspecting something, though Zim couldn't see what. Dib abruptly pulled his sleeve back down and began walking down the street, straight towards Zim.

Zim waited for the meat boy to see him. He waited. And waited some more. Dib kept getting closer but didn't seem to see Zim. Deliberately, Zim stood right in the boy's path, confident he'd be noted. Dib pushed straight past him, not even blinking. Zim turned on his heel, furious.

"Dib-stink!"

Nothing. The boy kept walking. Infuriated, Zim picked up a small rock and flung it at Dib. It hit him squarely in the back. Dib straightened suddenly, hissing in pain. Zim frowned; he hadn't even thrown the rock that hard. _Weak human._ At least he'd gotten the response he wanted: Dib had turned around and was facing him.

"I know you know," Zim stated flatly. Dib stared blankly. Zim tapped his foot in annoyance.

"The gophers, _Dib_, you think you can stop me- BUT YOU CAN'T!" Zim laughed maniacally.

When he finished, Dib had already turned and begun walking down the steet. Zim snarled in fury.

"THAT'S RIGHT PITIFUL HUUMAN! Keep running! Fear Zim! The next time I catch you, you will suffer greatly! I will warp your very DNA so that not even your primitive computers recognize you!!"

Dib froze. He turned around and began walking very quickly towards Zim. When he reached the Irken, he grabbed him by the shoulder tightly.

"_Can you do that_?" he asked, his voice haggard. Zim blinked. The human looked, well, dead. His normally pale skin was set off by the dark circles under the boys eyes. His_ eyes. _They looked flat, dull. Zim shuddered and pushed the human's filthy hand off of him. The pig-smelly was acting too strangely. A spidery leg extended from the Irken's PAK. It jabbed Dib quickly in the arm. Dib staggered back, his eyes wide.

"W-what did you do, alien?" His legs collapsed beneath him before his mind fell into oblivion. Zim spoke into the communicator on his wrist, "GIR! I require assistance immediately!"

"_Yes, my master!_" GIR barked. Then he giggled. "I made fondue."

"GIR!" Zim yelled, exasperated. "Now!"

He switched off the communicator. Zim prodded the human with his foot. He was delighted at having finally captured the human but was distracted by Dib's unusual behavior. _What is the human up to?_

"GIR, place the human in the chamber!" Zim commanded from the control room. He watched the robot unceremoniously roll the boy into the center of the room before gleefully skipping out the door. Dib was beginning to stir, the sedative wearing off.

Zim flipped on the power switch, turning on the controls. This was the room he'd put the boy in many years ago in order to reveal Dib for the muffin-thrower he was. This time, however, instead of putting his mind in charge of the virtual reality projector, he instead linked the computers to the Dib's mind. Not that Dib would have full control. Instead it would be similiar to a hallucination. He wanted to know what the boy was up to. He put on the goggles which put him into Dib's perspective.

_Dib/Zim opened his eyes. It was dark. All dark. He was alone. Then a figure began to materialize near him. Dib/Zim recoiled in horror as a face came into view._

_"No!" Dib/Zim cried as Professor Membrane appeared. "No! I ran away. You can't be here! Go away."_

_A gun materialized in Dib/Zim's hand. He pointed it at his father. One shot rang out. Then another. And another. Dib/Zim shot until the gun was empty. Blood blossomed from Membrane, soaking his white lab coat._

_"Die! Why won't you die?" Dib/Zim yelled. Blood. So much blood. Membrane began laughing noiselessly. He stared at Dib/Zim, changing. Dib/Zim screamed. He was staring at himself, drenched in blood, laughing. The mirror-Dib laughed until blood came pouring out of his mouth, his nose, his eyes. Dib/Zim stared at this macabre, blood-soaked Dib._

_"No! I'm not! I'm not! No!"_

_Another gun appeared. Another round of bullets into the mirror-Dib. Nothing happened. He stood there, pointing at Dib/Zim, silently laughing, blood continuing to stream from him._

_Another gun appeared. This time Dib/Zim lifted it to his temple. And fired. Nothing. Again. Nothing. No stream of blood. No splattering of brains hitting the ground. Nothing. _

Zim ripped the goggles from his face. He rubbed his face with a shaking hand, queasy as Dib's vision replayed in his head. _The Dib is more insane than I thought._ He stared down at the boy in the chamber, trying to make sense of it all.

A/N: Yay! Another chapter, though a shorter one. College is kicking in so chapters will be a little shorter in order to keep updates more frequent. But yeah. And Zim will be getting some glorious angst soon too, don't worry.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: More love to my beta GreatHeroRosalyn!

_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._ Dib banged his head against the wall. He was furious at himself for being caught. The only reason he had avoided capture before was because he never _ever_ allowed himself to be distracted. That was the first and foremost rule of his life: focus on the mission. How could he have been so stupid?_ I was weak._ He had gotten too caught up in his problems. _It doesn't matter that I'm a-_ He didn't want to dwell on the word. Too many thoughts were in his head, things he had never given a moment's thought to before. Philosophical, ethical, and even religious questions swirled around his brain. He shook his head, pushing the distracting ideas from his mind. He rubbed his arm absent-mindedly, thinking about what he had done in that place downtown. He'd let his self-pity take advantage of him. Dib gingerly felt his arms and back, hissing as his fingers brushed the still-sensitive skin.

"I don't care!" Dib muttered angrily. His first and foremost priority was getting out of Zim's base. He cursed himself again for getting stuck in here. He glanced around the chamber he was in. Why did it seem so familiar? He thought back. Dib couldn't seem to place the room in his memory despite the slight recognition.

He looked around again, spotting a window into what looked to be a control room forty feet up the wall. He craned his head, trying to see if Zim was in there. Unable to see anything, he decided to risk detection. Pressed against the wall, he moved until he was directly beneath the window. He glanced up, noting that the smooth metal surface extended all the way up to the control room.

"I knew it was a good idea to install magnets in my shoes," Dib declared. "Wait- why _did_ I think that was a good idea?"

Unable to remember why he'd done this, Dib shrugged and began the precarious climb to the control room.

Zim skipped gleefully into the main computer room.

"Computer! Connect me to the Tallest!" In his confusion over Dib's behavior, he hadn't quite grasped what he had done. Finally he had captured the human. After six years of endless frustration, his primary enemy was finally in his clutches.

"Earth will now be MINE!" Zim crowed in delight. The computer screen flickered, and then connected to the Massive's communication system.

The Tallest came into view; they were sprawled across a couch, laughing hysterically.

"My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest! ¡Mis más altos! My Tallest! Mon plus grands! My Talleeeeeeeeest!" Zim screeched.

Tallest Red looked up, wiping a tear of laughter from his eyes. When he saw Zim, he burst into laughter again, clutching his sides and rolling off the couch and onto the floor.

"My Tallest, I bring most excellent news regarding _the mission_!" Zim said, his antennae perking excitedly.

Tallest Purple, wheezing for breath, gasped, "Go on Zim, tell us your 'big news,'" before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"Excellent to see that my Tallest are also filled with such joy. Fear not, this fffffilthy planet with soon belong to the Irken Empire. I now have the filthy worm-baby _Dib_ contained in my base. Through an _ingenious_ plan of my own creation-"

Zim broke off, noticing that the Tallest were not paying him the slightest attention. They were whispering to each other.

"Should we tell-?"

"Yes! Do you-"

"Do you want to-?"

"Let's both-"

"Okay."

Tallest Red and Purple both turned to face Zim with pleased grins on their faces. Red coughed and tried to put on a serious face. This failed miserably and only caused Tallest Purple to giggle again. Red nudged Purple in the side and shushed him.

"Zim, you remember Invader Tak?" Red asked eagerly.

"My Tallest! How could I ever forget that terrible female?" Zim cried. "Oh, the disGUSTing lies she told!"

On hearing this, the Tallest burst into another giggle fit. Purple, his face flushed dark green from laughter, exclaimed,

"That's just it Zim! They weren't lies!"

"What?" Zim asked in confusion.

"They weren't lies!" Purple cried again.

"What?" asked Zim.

"They weren't lies," Purple said with less enthusiasm.

"What?" asked Zim.

"They. Were. Not. Lies," Purple restated, his eye twitching slightly.

"What?" asked Zim. Before Purple's head exploded, Red hastily interjected,

"But the good news is- we finally figured out how to do it!" This statement seemed to restore Purple's earlier good cheer.

"My Tallest, what are you-"

"Now this- this is the best part," said Purple, bouncing up and down with excitement. "This is where we get to tell _you_!"

"My Tallest, if you have any doubts about my mission, I would like to reassure you that-" The Tallest once again burst into laughter.

"I can't wait any longer," said Red eagerly. "Zim, we're deactivating your PAK!"

At the look of confusion on Zim's face, Red yelled, "Look! Look at his face! Ha! I told you he'd look just like that!"

"You're right!" said Purple exuberantly. "Hey, someone in the back, can we get this recorded?" A camera zoomed in on the screen. Zim, his antennae quirked, was confused.

"But, my Tallest- I- wait, execution? I have faced no trial, the- the control brains haven't-"

Tallest Red sighed, "Unfortunately, no, we didn't feel like going all the way to the Control Brains to wait for a real execution. Bye Zim!"

Once again laughing their heads off, the Tallest cut the transmission.

"My Tallest?" Zim called. "My Tallest? That was a most excellent jest, Almighty Ones. May I please update you on my mission?"

Zim stood there, waiting for the transmission to reconnect. He didn't doubt for one moment his Tallest had been joking. There was no other comprehensible explanation. Zim waited and waited, staring at the now-fuzzy screen. Who knows how long he would have stood there had not Dib suddenly fell through one of the ceiling pipes and onto Zim. Before Zim could push the human off him, Dib was up and running, headed for the elevator that led to the upper area of the base and freedom.

"You will not escape, filthy Dib-worm!" Zim yelled. He leapt to the computer keypad and typed in a series of symbols, initiating a complete lockdown. By the time Dib reached the chute, it had already been blocked by a grid of lasers. Dib spun on his heels, furious.

"Let me out, _Zim,_" he spat. He'd been so close to escaping, so very close. Glancing at the keypad, Dib realized even without Zim's interference, he'd never be able to shut off the lockdown. He looked back at the Irken, noting he looked even more sickly than usual. Zim's skin was clammy looking, and for a second Dib thought he saw sparks shoot from the Irken's back.

"Never, Di-" Zim broke off as a searing pain shot through his spine. His back arched as the pain reached his head. He grabbed his head, falling to the ground, seeing red. _Pain. Pain. Pain._ All he could feel was fiery pain. It burned its way through him in jagged jolts, reaching all parts of his body. His hands grabbed at his head, fingers twitching, needing something to concentrate on other than pain. Dib watched as Zim fell to the ground, shrieking in what must be Irken. His back arched so severely Dib thought it would snap. The alien bit his lip until he broke the skin, causing a trickle of dark green blood to fall from his mouth. As Zim twisted on the floor, his screams echoing throughout the chamber, Dib backed away from the invader, unnerved by what he saw.

It seemed like hours, though it could have been only a few minutes. Dib, having backed as far into a corner as he could, continued to watch with a horrified fascination. Abruptly the Irken ceased all movement and sound. He climbed unsteadily to his feet, panting, his skin pale. Zim's head felt heavy and everything looked fuzzy around the edges. Noticing Dib in the corner, he weakly said, "As I said, Dib, you'll never esca-" _Clunk_. The sound echoed throughout the computer room. Zim stumbled forward slightly, feeling lighter. Feeling he as if he were in slow-motion, he turned to look behind him not wanting to see what he knew was there. His hands reached around behind him, hoping to feel what was no longer there. Hoping to feel the smooth, warm device that was part of his very existence. All his slender fingers felt was the ripped edges of his Irken uniform and the bumpy unnatural feeling of an empty data port.

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	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Beta-ing done by GreatHeroRosalyn.

As soon as Zim turned his back on Dib, the teen sprang into action. He lunged forward, shoving the diminuitive alien aside and grabbed the PAK from the floor. He spun around, facing Zim, now sprawled on the floor. It took Zim an unusually long time to rise. When he did, he reached out futiley for his pack. Dib held it high, just out of Zim's reach.

"Let me out, _Zim_," Dib said triumphantly, "or I'll split this thing in half."

Zim hopped just out of reach of the PAK, only half-conscious.

"Give... _back,_ filth," Zim wanted it, wanted to hold it. _It's mine. I need it. I can fix it... somehow._

"Shut down the security, Zim, I mean it," Dib said, holding the PAK even higher. He relished the control he now wielded over the Irken. He wondered how important the PAK was to Zim's existence. _Could this be the end of him? Have I finally won? _He dangled it tauntingly over the short alien,

"C'mon Zim, you better hurry up. How long can you survive?"

Zim swayed on his feet. He staggered past the infuriatingly tall human and stood before the keypad. His hands automatically reached out to type the code. He couldn't remember it. Zim blinked, confused. While he struggled to recall the code, a handful of sparks shot out of the PAK port in his back.

His twitching fingers tentatively typed in a number sequence.

"_Wroooong,_" the computer moaned. Zim tried to concentrate but failed, his memory indescribably fuzzy. Unbeknownest to him, more sparks fired out of his back. He typed in another assortment of numbers. Rejected.

"Stop messing around!" Dib said. He tossed the PAK in the air, nonchalantly catching it with one hand, enjoying seeing Zim squirm in anxiety. The normally indignant alien was unusually quiet, looking pale and clammy, the odd circular port in his back sparking randomly, his antennae lying flat. Dib watched as he tried one more code.

"_Wrong! Security override. Intruder alert. Initiating full lockdown and containment!_" the computer boomed. All parts of the underground base were blocked off by more laser-grids as the overhead lights shut down. A hissing sound filled the room as the computer automatically began to fill the base with a basic Irken knock-out gas.

_"Have a swell day! Long live the Irken Armada!"_ the computer chirped cheerfully.

Dib squeaked as ominous clouds of teal gas drifted towards him. Zim was standing there like a moron, still typing in useless codes, sparks flying from his back left and right. Dib grabbed Zim's shoulder.

"Call it off!" he said, banging the PAK against a computer console. Zim squealed.

"No! Don't-" he grabbed for his life-giving device. Dib pushed him off, gagging as the gas reached him. He repeated,

"Call it off!"

Zim looked at him, his mouth dry.

"I can't remember. No!" Zim yelled as his precious PAK was thrown across the room

Dib turned away from the Irken and looked up to the ceiling vent through which he had initially entered the room. The ceiling, too, was sealed off with a grid of lasers. The gas was everywhere- in his mouth, nose, lungs.

"Oh come on!" Dib said hoarsely. "Knocked out twice in one week? That's not f-"

Zim watched through glazed eyes as Dib collapsed. He inhaled deeply, the gas sending a prickling feeling through his body. Though designed to knock out intruders, the gas also served the purpose of being a revitalizer for Irkens. Of course, that didn't stop it from knocking him out. Zim took a shaky step towards his PAK before falling flatly on his face. Unknown to him, a small camera in the room watched. On the other side of that camera sat the Tallest, now completely hysterical.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews you guys! It's what keeps me (slowly) going! I'm so sorry for the long delay! The computer with my fic files on it did not have internet access until the 24th of January and I had no way of transferring the files (no functional disk drive). Then I just got distracted by the onslaught of COLLEGE MADNESS. Really I don't have a good excuse for why this took so long. I have a wonderful beta now who was kind enough to take pity on me and my fic so thanks to GreatHeroRosalyn.

Desdamona- I wanted to answer your question. Yes, the R does stand for romance and it will be there eventually, I'm trying so hard to stay in-character that it may end up being more platonic than I originally intended, but it will be there.

Zim woke, his jaw aching and teeth grinding. He was curled up in as small a ball as possible, his arms wrapped around himself. Zim was in pain. Not the searing agony that had shot through his body hours ago, but instead, his bones felt as if they were stuck with pins, and his body was filled with an aching, incessant need, a want that he did not know how to stop. (A/N: Aaah! Sounds like a bad romantic novel!!) He sat up, tight-faced and pale, antennae twitching senselessly. His trembling fingers traced little nonsense patterns on the floor.

"Computer," Zim croaked, irritated at how weak his voice sounded. There was no response. Opening his eyes, Zim saw that his base was devoid of activity, all his equipment shut down. Blocking off all exits from the lab were laser grids which glowed menacingly.

"What is-," Zim squeaked, enraged. Then he remembered. The Tallest. His PAK. His PAK! Zim fell back against the metal wall, feeling cold metal brushing against skin where his PAK had been attached.

"Where is it?" Zim muttered. He looked about frantically. It was hard to see more than a few feet, the only source of light was from the dull glow of the laser grids. On his hands and knees, the Irken searched every dark corner of the room. Zim blinked repeatedly. His vision was blurry and refused to clear, hindering his search. Furthermore, his shaking limbs made movement difficult. He trusted his twitching fingers to find what he wanted. Finally, his hands brushed against the cool curve of his PAK. Zim grabbed it to his now-shaking body. Flipping it over, he reached behind him and pressed it to his back. Nothing happened. Again and again Zim slammed the dead device into his spine, waiting for something to happen.

"IneedmyPAKineeditineeditican'tlivewithoutitohirkpleasepleaseplease," Zim whispered.

The only reason a PAK would not reconnect is because it has been completely shut down. And the only way that could happen was if a direct order had been placed to turn the device off. It didn't happen accidentally. The Tallest meant to do this. Zim knew what would happen. His body would not be able to survive without the essential chemicals and nutrients provided by the machine. His body would go through a period of withdrawal and slowly starve. His duty as an Invader was to accept the decision of his Tallest and await his demise. He was supposed to resign himself to his fate with pride. In his death he would be serving the will of the Irken Empire, and therefore it should be viewed as nothing more than one more order.

"But-but I am ZIM!" Zim protested, devoid of his usual zest. Zim's already deteriorating vision blurred. A peculiar sensation ran through his body, tightening his throat and making him feel sick. Zim didn't like it. He weakly threw the PAK away from him, hoping to rid himself of the odd sensation trickling through his mind and body. Instead of a sharp clang, Zim heard a muffled thud followed by a loud, "What the fu- oh shit!"

Dib scrambled into view, looking considerably disheveled. He had been sprawled on the floor where he had been knocked out, only a few feet from Zim. He glanced around, looking for a quick escape. When he saw the laser grids, his shoulders drooped.He had no idea how he was going to get out of there. Finally Dib's eyes settled on Zim.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he asked bluntly. Subtlety had never been Dib's strong point. However, it was hard to be subtle about Zim's appearance. Crouched against the wall, Zim seemed unable to keep still, constantly fidgeting. His large eyes were dull and lifeless, and he was grinding his teeth.

"None of your business, meat-sack," Zim spat hoarsely. He glared at Dib. Just because his mission had been aborted did not mean he hated Dib any less. Six years of unabated animosity could not be forgotten. Dib glared back. Several minutes passed. Still they glared. Somewhere in the world a cricket chirped.

Finally Dib coughed, then asked, "Let me guess, we're stuck in here because you are a moron?"

Zim didn't respond, still busy glaring. Dib thought about continuing to goad the alien then sighed. He really didn't give a damn right now. He was too messed up right now, all these damn _feelings_ distracting him. He leaned against the wall, the perfect picture of teenage angst.

"So, you broken or something?" Dib asked, jerking his head towards the PAK on the ground. Zim hissed in reply. His limbs still aching, Zim extended his legs, then looked at his feet, puzzled. They looked smaller. Upon further inspection, Zim realized that they weren't smaller, but were instead further away. He looked up and saw that Dib also looked confused.

"Zim, stand up," Dib said. Zim hesitated, not wanting to obey the human. However, curiosity overcame him.

"I am standing up because _I_ want to. Not out of any desire to obey _you,_" Zim spat. Using the wall for support, he stood up. Drained as he was, Zim couldn't help giving out a squeal of excitement. For the first time in five years, Zim could look Dib in the eye. He smirked. To be this tall would bring him great power in Irk. Perhaps the Tallest had merely been testing him? They knew of his imminent growth and decided to test his strength and loyalty to the Irken Empire.

"Yess," Zim hissed. A strange bubbly feeling arose in his chest. It made him feel indifferent to all the aches and pains in his deteriorating body. He felt indifferent to the presence of Dib. It didn't matter, he was so- Zim shook his head, evaporating the sensation as fast as it had arrived. The lack of a PAK must have begun to affect his mind.

Holding the wall for support, Zim edged over to the main computer. He prayed the emergency transmission still functioned. After all, the Tallest must have left him some way to communicate them once he discovered that this was just a test. He tentatively pressed the transmit button. A large 'loading' symbol appeared. The program began to load in almost microscopic incriments. Zim stared at the screen then staggered forward, another wave of weakness shooting through his body. He slid down the wall, leaning his forehead against the computer console, shivering. Even worse than the physical symptoms were these mental waves of- Zim didn't know what to call them. It was probably insanity brought on by the withdrawal from his PAK nutrients.

Dib peered at the Irken who was sitting absolutely rigid in front of the large computer screen. Fascinated as Dib was by Zim's sudden growth, he really just wanted to leave; though come to think of it, he wasn't sure where he would go anyway. He knew that most likely, if he stayed away from his house his father wouldn't bother coming after him. He was so busy with REAL SCIENCE that he would just send idiotic lab assistants after Dib. Anyway, it didn't look like he was getting out of here anytime soon.

Dib sighed and sat down. For the millionth time in three days he looked down at his hands, flexing and clenching his fingers.

"These aren't my fingers, " Dib whispered. "Nothing about me is mine." He looked at Zim and his face hardened. "The only thing that's mine is _him_. The only thing that Dad never had-or wanted. I have Zim. He's mine."

Dib made a face. He felt pretty pathetic right about now. Normally he cultivated a relatively focused state of mind. Zim was the only thing that could make him excited, or disappointed, or any emotion really. He'd decided to do that when he was eleven after an especially nasty after-skool beating had left him crying. He'd been so disgusted with himself, crying due to his inferior classmates. He had never wanted them to have any power over him again. Not having feelings ended up being the easiest way to do this.

Now his mind was completely shot. He'd always assumed that "teenage hormones" had skipped over him, giving Gaz a double-dose instead. Nope, looks like his were present and accounted for. All it took to make them come out was some life-altering trauma. He stared absently at Zim who was crouched in the corner by his transmitor. Then Dib spotted his laptop underneath a counter. Zim must have shoved it there after capturing him.

Glancing again at Zim to make sure he was still paying no attention, Dib scurried over to his computer, grabbing the discarded PAK as an afterthought. Though he kept telling himself that he didn't give a damn about Zim or his plans right now, Dib couldn't help but be curious. The device must hold a myriad of information on the Irken race and defect clone or no, Dib was not going to give this opportunity up. He pulled a few cables out of the back of his laptop and looked at the PAK. The ports on it were not as similar as he would have liked, but he was pretty sure he could hook it up to his computer. He clicked the most similar cable into the PAK and flipped open his computer. His face illuminated by the glow of the screen, Dib gave a small smile as streams of Irken data flowed from the PAK into his computer.


End file.
